January 27, 2022

Made it to 32 weeks and boy, each day is getting more real and closer to meeting our little goober. To be honest, I actually wanted a 2020 baby, because 20 is my favorite number😉 and I wanted to be closer in age with my child(ren), but since I lost my job in 2020, we didn’t start “trying” until 2021, and hey- it’s all happening in 2022! I’m a sucker for even numbers anyway  – and I’ve gained more patience and open mindedness that I’m so happy to say we are truly excited with this new addition.

I chose Point Dume, Malibu as our location for maternity shots; Point Dume is a  particularly sentimental location for me; we were supposed to get married here 6/2020, and even attempted last year, but couldn’t. I’ve been sad I couldn’t celebrate my wedding with ~85-90% of my family/friends nevertheless. However, It was blissful to come by this beautiful beach. I used to laugh at the Californian stereotype that Hollywood, beaches (and palm trees) are all that people expect, and while I don’t like many beaches here, Point Dume is one of the special ones to me with its rocky formations great for hiking + rock climbing just tucked off the PCH.

Pregnancy so far has been a bit of a roller coaster, with really no idea what to expect as a first-time mom. When I found out I was pregnant right after my birthday of a missing period for 1 1/2 months + cramping when I was snorkeling, I nervously asked my cousin and friend in Japan if I was even reading my test correctly. With the gynecologist confirming my pregnancy, I was still in disbelief, excitement, anxiety, and concern thinking that I’d have FOMO from refraining from sushi + alcohol. As my hormones continued to go all over the place, I’ve been constantly reminded “everyone’s pregnancy and body is different” and women in wartimes had babies that turned out fine. I am being warned by peers reminding me how costly children are … with the compounded concerns of COVID news and children around the world struggling socially and educationally.

Thankfully since I drastically cut down drinking for almost a year prior (to focus on health + fertility) and O isn’t much of a drinker, alcohol abstinence has been quite the breeze. Because I’m motivated to bring as much good health and mind to our baby, I’ve refrained from any risk of sushi and alcohol whether or not people think they’re BS “rules” – which honestly, are just guidelines. To let go of sushi + alcohol has actually empowered me and liberated me with creativity. I’ve even been occasionally pulling the “I’m pregnant” card to receive a lot of magical help and support. And with several other strong mothers including my cousin, I know going raising our goober through the pandemic is possible and we could only do our best.

Overall, my first trimester went as smooth as butter, second trimester continued on, and just when I was reaching my third trimester, I felt like I aged 10 more years with a lack of sleep, discomfort around my torso/back, waking up to excruciating leg cramps and sciatica pain all day/night long (having O immediately run over to massage my leg in the early morning). Those massages and daily cups of coffee have never been more embraced than ever.

Now at 32 weeks after walking our God-sent Bagel more with `~1/2 hr of cuddling with him and O massaging me at least once every night, we’re quite excited to get closer to meeting our son. I still have moments when I feel like I’m running out of time (especially when I wake up at 4AM from him moving around in me) It honestly is strange when you feel kicking while you’re driving home or when you’re talking to your husband and you both notice your stomach bulging out for a second because of a baby punch/kick.

It is still an emotional journey with not being able to really celebrate as we’d like with our family and friends, however, it’s really pushed me to become more independent and focused in my partnership/friendship with O. Pregnancy during COVID really does suck since I am so extroverted and deprived of my social life – but I am learning to adjust and celebrate with whatever family is available. As cheesy as this sounds, there’s only so much we can prepare for and we can only put our best feet forward one day at a time. Cheers to meeting our son in ~2 months and hope you lovely family and friends can meet him soon.

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